What to do

How do you pass the time when the one person you usually pass the time with is not there? That's been the big question on my mind. My buddy/my friend/my partner in crime/my boyfriend/my love is away for the entire month of February. I know February is a short month, but after the first week it is straining on me.
While the boyfriend and I are not overly sentimental about packaged holidays like valentine's day - take last year's valentine's day. We made no reservations, we made no plans, we hung out in the house the entire day and went around the corner for dinner. But having this hallmark holiday along with him being gone I found myself reorganizing the shoes in my closet. I did intense research on where I could donate the shoes that are still in good condition, and put away the clothes I had folded from doing laundry. These are all things that I dread to do, especially laundry/folding clothes. So yesterday after everything was organized, tv shows were watched, emails were read and replied to, I found myself playing solitaire. When was the last time I played solitaire? Then I started thinking about the different types of solitaire games and if I could remember them.
HELP! This is crazy, I am turning into my grandmother!

Sure I should be able to use this time wisely, I mean I don't spend every waking hour with my boyfriend when he's here. But knowing that someone is a phone call away, a short driving distance, a couple of bus stops away that gives a real sense of security. I obviously lived before he and I got together and I was quite independent. I have traveled alone and taken on certain risks without a second opinion. However, now that I have this second opinion and this build in supporter I realize that I have actually regressed a bit in my strength. I had to make all the decisions on my own before and I was happy to do it. I made good decisions along with poor ones, and that happens even now. It is more like now I don't have to do all the work in the decision making process because I have him. Like I have become lazy in my own life because I am sharing it with someone.
Last night I got a call from a good friend (female) and she has been in a rather intense relationship with this guy and they are planning to get married. My major problem with that relationship is that every time the guy feels like he is backed into the wall he lashes out at my friend. And I am not dogging him, or taking her side - its just a fact. She needs to work on stuff too, don't get me wrong. But how can you seriously consider spending the rest of your life with someone and make a life together. How do you say to someone you love, I love you but I can't stand you? I think that's the issue. If you can't even have a civilized argument with someone then how can you stand that person? No one is perfect, we all know that but there are ways to do things and ways not to do things. And sometimes there are those arguments that begin with one point and end in another. That happens to the best of us. The issue is, can you turn it around, can the two of you talk intensely about something, trust one another even when tensions are high and get to a common ground?!

So today I am wearing my heart socks, not for valentine's day, that was yesterday but more for the thought or ideal of love. Keep it with you and others will be drawn to you because of it.